Wed, 8 Apr 1992 14:02:25 -0400 (EDT) Dear Dr. Markus P. Spanglestein , Professor Legwaite's question: where did the weight of the gyroscope go? Unfortunately what Professor Ligwart failed to realize was that at the timeof his experiment, the Radio Corporation of America had begun covert experimentationwith a lost theory of Thomas Edison's in which Edison believed that pressedwaxine recordings were capable of low-frequency radiometric wave generation;that is, stimulation of the molecular structure of organically composedhigh-top cylinders was likely to cause disgravitational vibrations. Hisfriend, economist, biochemist, and geologist Francis Deardorf had measuredthe effects of vibrating cylinders on colonies of Southern Hay Beetles severalyears earlier. In his experiment. Deardorf had played the early recordingsof Geoffrey Fenster and his Big Band of Champions at an unusually high speed(210 RPM) for a period of 17 days in the lowland granite quarries of southernAlabama. Deardorf's observations concluded that the perception of shakes by Hay Beetleswas synthetically enhanced by engranulated recordings, and that the beetlescould be induced into attack formation by decade-old recordings that hadnot been cared for. Coming current, it is apparent that gyroscopically measuredair pressures will steadily vary from expected norms. Small children (asconcluded by the Red Cross of Great Britain) perceive gyroscopic 'screamings'at earlier stages than adults, and an observed over-sensitivity to extragravitationalforces is an expected, not misguided result. It is obvious from the aforementioned experiment that the child involved,a young boy, had been listening to the early recordings of Glenn Glenner,a puppeteer and children's song stylist, probably on a Sears Kentone recordplayer. Research at the Chicago Institute of Sears-Roebuck Object-EffectedPharacological Studies has demonstrated the similarities in the aural processesof the Kentone to Deardorf's early studies. In conclusion , the child wasmalaffected. Ligament's efforts should be disenfranchised and perhaps encrusted.I discourage fellow scientists from regarding early age experiments in weightperception to theorize without reading the bylaws of the Gyroscopic MismanagementCommittee of Erudition. Several new editions of their biannual newsletterhave been collected by Dr. Payana Jirpayhama of the Jackie Frazier Instituteof Biomechanical Etching. Yours Truly, Dr. M Weckley Professor Of Cell Management and Mechanical Fenestration With special thanks to Dr. Orin S. Ert